My Favorite Hearthstone Cards (That Suck)

I’ve been playing Wizard Poker for a little over 2 years now, and its impossible to not grow attached to certain cards. I’ve played through various metas from Closed Beta to Present Day, and have seen my collection grow from meager scraps to one with quite a few legendaries. Through and through, I’be been fond of certain Hearthstone cards, despite them being mostly horrible in constructed and arena play.

Hearthstone Screenshot 12-05-15 23.15.34.png
Like Worthless Imps, except I like them for some reason!
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The One-Eyed Cheat wasn’t fooling anyone.

10. Misdirection – This has always been the Hunter spell that nobody expects at all. Almost all the Hunter secrets played are Explosive Trap and Freezing Trap, with a smattering of Snake Traps. Very rarely in the arena, you’ll see a Misdirection. Misdirection remains bad because it is situational, but when it triggers, there are usually devastating results. This is also the only card in which a hero with a weapon can hurt their own minion.

9. Shadowform – Shadow Priest isn’t a thing in Hearthstone, rather just appearing in the names of purple-colored minions. Shadowform goes all the way, putting a purple filter over the hero’s face. Unfortunately, Shadowform remains antagonistic to Anduin and his healing synergy cards.

8. Mini-Mage – Currently, the only Stealth + Spellpower minion of the game. Unfortunately, it has a body worse than Magma Eager, at a greater cost. Mini-Mage will appear in the arena, when some absurdly bad epic cards are choices for drafts, or occasionally drop from Sky Golems. The 1 health Stealth body though makes me root for it. Can he survive the rankest of AOE spells? He also looks like Patient Assassin’s brother or something.

7. Goldshire Footman – “Ready for action!” remains one of the best entrance quotes in the game. He probably saved your butt a few times too, during the first week of playing Hearthstone. Heck, he saved me in the arena, when I desperately needed a taunt from Dark Peddler. The guy in the art representing Goldshire also did something significant in the WoW comic. Before he got completely immolated.

6. Hogger – Hogger’s notoriety in WoW comes from being a tough boss encounter for early players. When Classic cards were the rage, I think a lot of people wanted a Hogger. I mean unlimited taunts? Soon, it became evident Hogger sucked. While he still can provide use I the arena, he may never appear in constructed again.

5. Dreadsteed – I lost a game against Dreadsteed once, and I was actually overjoyed. It was just a cool experience. The rub is that Dreadsteed never made it as a viable card to use, in arena or constructed. The 1/1 for 4 mana is just too much to overcome. But hey, we can have hope for the embodiment of 100 duck-sized horses.

4. Mimiron’s Head – As embarrassing as it is, one of the first things I did once GvG came out was craft Mimiron’s Head. I was determined to pull off the Voltron OTK. I pulled if off successfully a few times, amidst a gazillion losses in casual. I guess it was worth the dust.

3. Felguard – If there were no numbers or words around Felguard, this guy would be amazing. He is just a badass demon, who is threatening Gul’dan when he could, and has cool art. Unfortunately, losing a mana crystal is a really bad effect, which makes this guy unplayable even in demon decks. But when he comes out of a Bane of Doom, not bad!

2. One-Eyed Cheat – This guy has a unique Stealth ability, which allows him to pull off a hit-and-run. The problem with the card remains the 4/1 body, which is killed by anything. Even in the most competitive Pirate decks, he is not a guaranteed add. But hey, I like this guy a lot because of his unique ability. Plus he has pretty good card art. A goblin pirate with at least 3 weapons and a bright red parrot. That counts for something!

1. Mana Addict – I think it is pretty obvious that Mana Addict is my favorite card that sucks. Heck, this blog was named from the quote. Thematically this card makes sense, given the whole blood elf lore. I like Mana Addict mostly because I got a good few wins from old Miracle Rogues, where this card played a big role. Have it under Conceal, play/draw a gazillion spells, and wham! The usefulness of Mana Addict died with Miracle Rogue, and it remains bad in the arena. I’ve been toying with the possibility of reviving Mana Addict with a spare parts deck. But that remains a work in progress.

I’ll never forget this moment…
That one time Mini-Mage killed several superior minions in the arena.
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Tasting the Mana since 2013 (or early 2014).

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