Taking a Look at that Pretty Bad Hearthstone Commercial

Blizzard Entertainment seldom produces television commercials, so it was pretty exciting that they decided to release one for Hearthstone today. While Hearthstone is extremely popular and on the heels of the new expansion, this particular commercial was to say the least, baffling. Let’s take a look at this commercial frame-by-frame, and look at some reactions to it.

Frame 1 (00:01) – “Man I love chips and guac”

Set in an office, Paul is eating chips and guacamole in a styrafoam container. There appears to be plenty of chips around for the taking, given the trays and containers of it around the break room. But I have a feeling the guacamole was not free, and Paul purchased it himself. Anyways, he got so much satisfaction from it, that he let out one of those loud “Mmm” sounds in public. I don’t think I have enjoyed food enough to do that in public.

Frame 2 (00:06) – “Vlad Putin with the People’s Eyebrow”

The unnamed antagonist of the commercial, a guy who looks like a skinny Vladimir Putin (subliminal message anyone?), steals Paul’s guacamole container and eats a chip from it. I mean guacamole is enjoyable, and I have made it myself on occasion, but is it worth stealing? When I go eat Chipotle, I am not willing to pay extra for guac. Anyhow, this guy is clearly a douchebag, and does the People’s Eyebrow to make our protagonist (is he?) feel bad. He has no remorse for his actions.

Frame 3 (00:09) – “Bullying is not okay / Poor guac boy”

Paul is upset and says that the guacamole container is clearly his. He wrote is goddang name on it after all. Seen in the background are a variety of other sauces and maybe even a tray of churros. Clearly those other dipping salsas are inferior and just microwaved out of glass jars or cans. That’s why Paul had to bring his own stuff to the party.

Frame 4 (00:15) – “Ready for action”

Our antagonist asks the central question if Paul “wants to take it inside.” For those who don’t understand the vernacular, “taking it outside” means settling a dispute outside via fisticuffs. Because this is a Hearthstone commercial, they take it inside, and settle their dispute through Wizard Poker. Of course this requires the two guys to be Bnet friends, which could have other implications. I mean they could see each other’s Arena scores, or see when someone unpacks a legendary, or becomes a level 50 Priest.

Paul becomes some Alliance dude (Goldshire Footman probably), and says he wants to take it inside.

This was likely an inspiration.

Frame 5 (00:17) – “Shuttlecock Elton John”

The bully counters as Sylvanas, who looks like Elton John, primarily because of the shades. He is also wearing shuttlecocks for some reason, which is odd because Sylvanas doesn’t wear feathers.

Frame 6 (00:19) – “WTF”

Paul/guac boy re-emerges as some green guy. This commercial becomes the worst commercial of all-time with this arrival.

Frame 7 (00:22) – “Literally unplayable”

So he is now apparently Dr. Boom. This is weird because Dr. Boom is a Wild card, and people won’t be using Dr. Boom in Standard. Also, bringing improvised explosive devices to the occupational setting is not cool.

Frame 8 (00:23) – “Rank 20 plays”

The antagonist finally uses the phrase “guac boy” and pulls out his bootleg phone to show how he played Sylvanas on an empty board. Filthy casual confirmed. Guac boy will likely win the game.

Appropriate Reactions on Reddit